Never growing up

Blah!

I think today was one of those days. A day where you just feel out of it. Like you're not saying what you mean, where you don't feel satisfied with the day. I woke up this morning happy (which is weird because I am definitely not a morning person) the day was full of potential. I was pretty sure I was going to go out today, which is always nice getting out of the house and hanging out with friends. But somehow plans were jumbled and the night was full of indecisiveness. I made loose plans with a friend and ended up breaking them which made me feel guilty, but I did hang out with other friends. It was a mellow night with no climax, just simmering with possibility and falling short. The thing is I don't really think it was a bad night, I have had many like these in the past and thought it was time well spent. I think that the only difference was me and my perception of what I wanted.

An hour or two ago I couldn't remember eating anything all day and I guess I didn't. I don't think I should have thought about it too hard because knowing that I hadn't eaten made me feel more hungry than I really was. So me and a friend stopped by Del taco and I picked up some 59cent tacos. I ended up going home and finding food on the stove so I had a plate of pasta and chicken and I ate 2 of the tacos. And ewwwwww do I feel yucky now. I feel like I should purge or something. I've actually done that a few times before when I had too much to drink or once when I really ate like way too much. Yeah its not fun at all, and I don't think its easy, its like completely against my bodies nature too throw up. I can't imagine being bulimic, its seems like a lot of work, not that I don't need to purge some of my intake.

posted by Kathy =) @ 2:12 AM